MAJOR PROJECT 2
The revision plan for Major Project 2 (MP 2) is to refine and amplify the impact of my professional pitch bible that proposes a Disney cookbook. Peer feedback highlighted the overall clarity, organization, and compelling visuals, but suggested slight adjustments to spacing for improved readability. In agreement, I recognize the importance of maintaining a balance throughout the letter to ensure an engaging yet visually pleasing experience. By reevaluating the layout, I aim to strike that balance and enhance the overall reading experience without overwhelming my audience.
My teacher's insights acknowledged the strong engagement with Outcomes One and Two, emphasizing the effective tailoring of the pitch to the specific letter recipient and the successful sale of the Disney brand. However, a concern about repetitive elements prompted me to think about how to enhance the pitch's cohesiveness. Despite efforts to reduce repetition between drafts and the final submission, I believe that a more detailed review is needed with extra time on-hand.
Excited to add more "Disney magic" and a playful family-focused tone to the recipes, I aim to rewrite sections like Artifact 2—a sample recipe page. This will resonate with Disney's whimsy, making it a livelier and more engaging proposal. As a preview, here is the shift in just one example—Step 1 of the recipe.
Before:
1. Break the bread into bite-sized pieces and place them in a bowl. Add milk, letting it soak for 20 minutes. Squeeze out any excess liquid and set aside.
After:
1. Begin the magic by breaking the bread into delightful, bite-sized pieces in a bowl. Pour in milk, letting the bread luxuriate for a magical 20 minutes. Gently squeeze away excess liquid, ready for a culinary journey filled with Disney wonders.
Additionally, considering a suggestion that the paragraph discussing Disney's recent financial successes may not be immediately relevant, I reevaluated its placement within the pitch. However, I continue to believe that this part strengthens my overall argument. To enhance clarity, I plan to re-phrase it, keeping in mind Disney's existing awareness of its financial success. For more details on this adjustment, please see the revised paragraph below.
